Everything's made to be broken

It's funny how we live life.

Spend decades in a city, make friends, make promises, write letters, gift earrings, cry over coffee.

Then leave all that behind for another city.

Another life.

Another set of friends, a new set of promises, type in texts, gift more earrings and gloss over tears.

Then you leave all that and go back expecting people to be the same.

The kind who made friends with you, made promises, wrote letters, gifted earrings, hugged when you cried.

But they change.

And you are left rummaging through old letters, locating pairs of earrings and lying awake in caffeine induced insomnia.

And well you can’t blame life can you? You can’t blame others for moving on can you?
There’s someone saying the very same things about you.

So take those memories and lock them up in little boxes coz they aren’t coming back. 
The days are gone. Maybe a glimpse here and a glimpse there, but they’re not here to stay back.

First Friend=Last Friend

So there are these people who you take for granted…but they’re always around.
Through the good and the bad. Through the ups and downs and you can never find the correct words to thank them.
Yes, I am high and sentimental.
But it’s all worth it on the birthday of the one friend you don’t want to lose.

Happy Birthday My First Friend=My Last Friend.
Niyati Gandhi.

Check her out at http://newlampsforold.blogspot.com/. Niyaaaaa <3

Side effects of sipping on sunshine

The water is nice and warm. The sunlight filters in and hits my face. It’s a nice, bright day, not the gloomy, cloudy sky that Bangalore greets you with on many mornings.

I feel more alive than I’ve felt in a long time. Yes, there are too many questions but this time I’ve had the courage to have asked all of them. And have been answered back satisfactorily.

I smile to myself thinking how filmy life can be.

Sometimes it seems like we’re stuck in a terrible dramatic movie that doesn't seem to have a happy ending and no humor but all the morbid twists and turns and mean and snobbish people; and you’re kept waiting for the one BIG THING that is going to change you and your life forever, accompanied by sunny mornings and happy songs.  And then you’re thrown into a whirlpool of cheesy scenes which involve family issues, love problems, troubles with friends, crying in the corner of your bed for hours, a whole lot of shit involving complex social dynamics! You sit on the terrace on a cold, windy night and contemplate on the matters of love, life and the universe. And you start believing that happy endings are a myth. Then you realize happiness was always by your side. And those evil people that makes your life a bit more like a movie? They are still working on their plans to make your life like hell. And those troubles don't leave you. EVER. Afterall KARMA IS A BITCH ( ). But you learn to get things your way. And life is perfect once again. It’s reached its happy ending till the next movie begins.

The feeling of the warm water running through my hair feels awesome and totally kills the goosebumps from the chilly morning air. And my fingers aren’t white and wrinkly from standing under the water for too long. They feel tingly and warm. And red from the rush of blood.

Long, warm showers are AWESOME. So happy and content they make you feel. And I LOVE my new strawberry body wash. It reminds me of strawberry ice-cream-my answer to every kind of sad thing in life =)

So when does the next movie start? Till when will this happy phase last?

I don’t care. And I don’t want to know.

I come out of the shower  knowing only one thing for sure. My new shampoo is PERFECT-JUST the one I needed. =D

My Happy Little Place

First week of trimester.
Lazy afternoons.
Little work pressure.
Jello Shots.
Quad Parties.
Super Pass weekends.
Awesome weather.
A ChickLit.
Old RomComs.
Skype FINALLY working on laptop.
Cheesiness.

Yes, life can be perfect sometimes =)
And it falls into place in the most unexpected of ways.
I’m so high with happiness it’s unimaginable.
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Yes, I’m rarely this happy, but that’s all the more reason to let you guys know.

<3

Bitter Pills

If there’s something that law school teaches you, that’s to deal with disappointments. A process of letting go and moving on.

You realize that people will walk in and out of your life but you need to walk away from that disappointment.

You won’t get what you deserve, but you need to accept what you get and remember that a lot of time you manage to get things you don’t deserve.

A lot of your dreams may end up not getting fulfilled but you always have to start dreaming the next one.

And tell you what? I just figured an easy process to get over your disappointments!

a)    

 Give your hand at being a nerd. Trust me it does wonders! It makes you feel like a stud to finally submit all your projects on time, does wonders for your self-confidence and keeps you busy and away from thinking too much about whatever that’s driving you nuts.

b)     

Food. It’s the instant relief for every cause of worry. Theres NO denying that a lamb risotto or a cheese margherita is the biggest comfort food man ever made!

c)       

SHUT the fuck up! Talking doesn’t help. People who should know will know by themselves, without you having to go over things again.

d)     

Humour. Ridicule your way through your failures. It’s always good to laugh it off.

e)      

Make a list of things you want to do by the end of the year. Trust me it makes you feel better J

f)       

Television/TV series. Make sure you catch the latest episodes of Gossip Girl or Glee or How I Met Your Mother  or Chuck or Roadies whatever it  is that you watch. It’s AWESOME. Period.

g)     

Reconnect with old friends. Sometimes you need to get away from the people and the place. And most of the times we are too busy being busybee to remember those old faces and places. But trust me there’s nothing like reconnecting with a friend you left behind and laugh over the times when you were stupid and silly.

h)     

HOME. There’s no place like home. There’s no one you’d rather talk to than your Mom.

And well there’s nothing in life that’s more important than YOU, so I’m sure it isn’t too difficult to get your act together-for your own sake. Someone once told me that there’s no one or nothing that is irreplaceable in one’s life. I’d disagreed then. I stand corrected.

P.S.- I know I haven’t written for 2.5 months but that’s coz I was putting most of the above things into action and ALSO because there was Univ Week! Wheee! :D

Judgment Day

Its never over till it's over.

One day and many meanings to these few words.

The end often comes out of the blue, when you least expect it. Or maybe when you'd like to least expect it.

And sometimes its not the end, but the end of the beginning, as you wait for the bigger better things to come along;just a wait for the next stage.*

And sometimes you have to end it yourself, coz it's never over till you bring it to an end.

There's a beauty in some endings. A part of you, finding a strange contentment in the heartache. A little hope. A little disillusionment. A little part of you that's been set free. The world might have come crumbling down but that just means a clean slate right? A chance to build it again, a little differently from the last time. Dream a new dream.

And the end doesn't come with a big bang. It comes quietly and leaves little behind. Perhaps that's the most difficult part, the emptiness that it leaves behind.

What it does leave behind is a lot of regret. Reflections. Images. Quiet nights. A strange vacuum when  you have nothing to do or say. Lapses of judgment. Dreamless sleep. Questions. No answers. Unsaid, bitter words. Distrust. And a shattered self esteem.

And sometimes a longing for one last chance to say I Miss You.

*Thank You Viki for not making my belief in this one falter. :)

These streets will make you feel brand new

These vagabond shoes, are longing to stray,Right through the very heart of it - New York, New York-Frank Sinatra

The snow covered cars parked outside that I watched from the warm, heated hostel room.

The street musicians at the subway station.

The red steps at Times Square.

The smell of freshly made hot dogs at every corner.

The frozen Central Park and the Manhattan skyline beyond the park.

The city at dusk, from the 62^nd floor of Rockefeller.

The Metropolitan Museum where one can easily spend a few days and yet not finish everything that there is to see.

Posing with the stars at Tussauds like every tourist would.

The newly wed couple taking pictures at Times Square.

Watching the city, lit up, as far as your eyes can see from the observatory at Empire State building.

Not knowing whether it was day or night on a walk down Times Square.

Navigating through the subway system that never fails to confuse.

Running through the streets to catch the late night show at Regal.

Shopping myself crazy at HnM, Forever 21, Victoria's Secret and haggling at the street corners for the cheapest deals on the “I <3 NY”.t-shirts.

Top it off with the Museum of Sex.

Hamburgers and fries with a friend at two in the night.

The noise.

The lights.

The chaos.

The city that never sleeps.

And a few wonderful friends to discover the city with.

No place ever got so perfect.

And if you ask me what was the best part about it, well it was the anonymity.

The city of 8 million and yet some of my best memories are from my solitary wanderings from around the city, on the days I did not carry my camera with me and all I have are the everlasting imprints on my mind.

The quaint seaport area near Fulton Street with the adorable open-air cafes where you strike up a conversation with a complete stranger.

The Trinity Church and the small, snow covered cemetery, where the father saw me fill up the prayer form and let me light a candle at the altar.

Looking up at the buildings in and around Wall Street, open mouthed and in awe.

The walk down Columbus Avenue and past Lincoln Centre.

Walking the Brooklyn Bridge promenade, stopping to see the Statue of Liberty in the distance and the Manhattan skyline.

The old man on the bus who told me how to get the tickets and told me exactly where to get down.

The salesgirl at Guess who got me a coffee and exchanged student life experiences with me.

The girl at Body Shop who failed to understand how I wasn't feeling cold.

The woman on the tube who struck up a conversation about the numerous shopping bags we were carrying and the guy who discussed Indian music with me.

It's so easy to lose oneself in the city. And find yourself in the process.

It's so easy to be anonymous but not a stranger.

Walk alone but not feel lonely.

The anonymity is a blessing.

Yes New York, I love you.

For the heady sights and sounds and the busy roads.

The big lights and the bigger dreams.

For the new ways in which I discovered you everyday.

For how everyone finds their favourite place in the city.

For how one feels at home.

For how it feels like I've known you forever.

For the feeling of familiarity in anonymity.

And for the 5 most brilliant days of my life.

I'm coming back, and that's a promise. :)