Saturday, August 28, 2010

Trials and Triumphs


That’s what our lives are about. Choices- the ones we make and the ones we don’t. The ones we don’t possibly, unknowingly affecting us more than the ones we do.  

So we choose to close our eyes to things we don’t want to believe. Choose to not believe something because we think it helps us face the next day much more easily. So today a friend asked “Is it wrong to make the easier choice?” and well I couldn’t really blame anyone for wanting to do so. Yes, it’s the more selfish choice to make because denials just make acceptance difficult for others, but well, who cares about the others? Life’s about US right? At the end of the day, we are answerable to ourselves and as long as u can look in the mirror and look into your own eyes and not feel guilty about things we do and decision we take, it’s ALL that matters.

So I tell myself –Stop trying to be the noble one and accepting things, ignore truths you don’t want to accept and move on. It’s the easiest thing to do. Cheat life, cheat others in the process but get your fucking conscience saved and ass covered.

Only, no matter how many times I say that to myself, I’m never ever to do it. And I’m never able to forgive the ones who take the easier path and leave the others to fight the battle alone.


So there’s the right time and the right decision. How often do we take the right decision at the right time? And that’s where Faith comes in. Faith in oneself. You lose it once and it takes ages to build back again. And the world with its weird ideas of right and wrongs and moral lectures and social upbringing doesn’t help either. It makes you believe in all the things that the world accuses you of being. But faith in the one above? It’s a funny thing. Coz when YOU let yourself down, you can choose to believe that the one above will be fair. That’s faith for me.

And it’s the only choice where I take the easier way out.

P.S. And few will ever understand the reason behind why I named this post what it's named.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Lights, Camera, *ACTION*

So EVERYBODY wants drama in their life!
AND there are different ways of getting it!

So my roommate thinks there'll be drama in her life if her other roommates get some action in theirs! And then she can sit back and see all the drama from a distance and give us constructive advice and consolation (whichever is needed).

And then there's my other roommate who just realized the futility of having action in a roommate's life. She realizes it rarely manages to bring action and drama in hers! So she waits and watches and contemplates taking THE STEP to getting action to her life!

AND then, there'e me. AND my half-fail, half-successful attempt at getting drama. Now my roommates push me to take take THE NEXT STEP to getting action to my life!

And in the midst of this is my roommate's friend Nero who also wants action and drama and she's found a way too.The hunt for the ultimate Tiffany/Cartier boi.

Yet, the drama we are all running after seems to be elusive.

So till we find that drama, lets keep planning for it! :)

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Law School *sigh*

So I should ideally be finishing my Pol Sci readings... *sigh*
but like i said, ideally.

Exams always bring with it this unexplainable urge to blog. Actually its not THAT unexplainanble, its PROCRASTINATION.
But then, theres nothing much to write about!
There's every possibility that this post too will end up being a whiny  "Things I Hate in Law School" post.
So i can end up writing about how law school makes people insensitive, ungrateful and selfish .
And how its so difficult to walk the tightrope and be surrounded by uncertainties all the time.
How one does not deserve what one gets here and does not get what one deserves.

But then there's so much to like about this place.
Like theres MM and our Pizza dates and sleepovers. Yes, they sound stupid, but it matters when you know theres someone who will take time out for you every week and make you feel nice, happy and loved. Theres something that is just between us- like this small, little, personal space.

And then there are the terrace talks every night. Yes, its cold up there and the pretty trees have all been cut down. But then again, its one of those things that give you a break and let u know "There you go, Thats the time you steal from the hectic Law School routine, everyday, for yourself".

And then there are auto rides. You hate the fact that the college is in Nagarbhavi. But its still nice to feel the wind against your face on that 40 min auto ride to M.G.

Yes, festivals dont feel festive here. But the memories make for a pretty picture. Like the unforgettable Diwali night, our first away from home, when we sat next to the water tanks and cheered every firework that lit up the sky and sang songs loud enough to drown the sounds of the fireworks.

Yes, its a rat-race here. But there are those few people who still care. They can always make out you're upset and offer to lend you their shoulders to cry on or lend you their ears so u can bitch and then make suitable consolations and comments.

Yes, the food sucks. But there are always times when you learn to enjoy that midnight Maggi/Pasta.

Yes, everyone's very very different here, But you'll always find someone to agree with you when u need it.

Its not that easy, this place. But it isn't that bad either. :)
Its quite easy to start liking parts of it. But yes, very difficult to fall in love with.

Monday, August 16, 2010

The Sister of My Heart

So my sister landed a job! :)
One that promises lots of chocolates. And added perks like extra allowances every month. :P

So it makes me think. About my childhood. Walk down that memory lane that's  now kind of difficult to figure out due to the overgrowths and grapevines of the years of experiences and memories.

She was the stud. I was always the one trying to be one.
She was the ideal child. I was busy getting over trying to be Kareena Kapoor! :P
She was the responsible one. I was the one she tried saving from getting into trouble.

But she adored me. Loved me like she's possibly loved no one till date.
And my childhood was spent, to a large extent, trying to be like her.

I grew up under her protective wings.
In the beginning, in school and our drawing classes, I always known as 'Sudeshna's sister'...
And they all expected nothing less from me than the studliness she'd already exhibited.
Sometimes i hated being tagged as someone's sister and not having an identity of my own. But then i was too small then. It dint really matter at that point of time.

And then i started growing up, spreading my wings, slowly peeking from behind her protective wings and trying to find a footing in the world- shaky and apprehensive.
And then she left.
I was 12 then.
And i cried my eyes out. Coz i was scared. I was afraid she'd forget me. Forget that i still needed her. That she'd find new people to love. She'd find a new world for herself, far, far away from the imaginary Gucciland we inhabited.

And thus i grew up. Miles away from her. She'd come home once in 5 months and i slowly learnt to live without sharing the tiniest bit of my life with her.
I learnt to sleep alone in the room.
I learnt to do my Maths homework alone and study for my exams without running to her and asking her to help me revise.
I learnt to handle my boy problems myself.
I built a world for myself. And an identity.
I was no more Sudeshna's sister.
I had a bunch of very dependable friends who always made me fell loved and lucky.

But i never managed to learn to live WITHOUT her.
Her advice still mattered the most.
She always knew exactly what to say and more importantly what NOT to say.
She still does.
She's still the one who mediates a fight between me and my my Mom.
She's still the more responsible one.
She's still the one who holds it all together.

But i learnt one thing over the years.
She's NEVER loved anyone as much as me.
I possibly failed her on that ground.

I miss her.
And i've learnt to love her more.

Yes, she's the sister of my heart...

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Judgmentus Orgasmicus!

So today’s one of those days when I feel like my life’s going nowhere. I’m bored, disillusioned with everything here and find a reason to complain about everything around. So you hate the fact that the LLMs have taken over all of Chetta, the food in the mess sucked, there’s nothing in my life to look forward to-no drama, no boy and the unending pile of PolSci and History readings that just makes you nauseas.
Law School does that to you pretty often.
And then you hear of how seniors just landed jobs that pay a lakh a month. *sigh*
The fast forward button anyone?
And then there are always people. People who are orgasmic about judgments AND passing judgments.     

So they judge you for getting drunk and having fun with a junior. They think they are the official moral police of the country and pass dirty looks the next morning and call you a slut or “the one who preys on the first years”. They think they have a right to decide what’s right and what’s wrong for everyone and anyone deviating from their set notion of right and wrong MUST be in the gossip column the next day and the case discussed, rediscussed, brought before the jury, a thousand inferences drawn from it and finally done to death with, so that no new stories and inferences can possibly come out of it.
So then, you’re judged if you are best friends with a senior who already has a girlfriend.
You’re judged for dancing with junior boys and not giving attention to the guys of your own batch. That automatically turns us into sleazeballs apparently
So you’re judged if you can’t tell Gucci from Prada and don’t match your shoes with your clothes.
You’re judged cause you don’t come from the cooler places in the country.
You don’t need a reason. You just need a mouth and an idle mind =\
And voila! You have the judgement of the day!

But then one consoles oneself with the thought that more often than not these judgments are forgotten, making way for the next one. These judgments, thankfully, don’t always act as precedents! So they’re more than happy to forget the case and find a new one that’s more interesting! So till the next judgment on you is passed you can rest in peace!

Sunday, August 8, 2010

So there are these new species who have landed in Law School...

So, it’s been a month of second year. And the juniors are here. And we’ve had our share of ‘positive interaction’ and more or less familiarized ourselves with the people who are going to be our slaves for the next one year. J So, here’s a description (yes, I AM very bored AND my projects are over) of the types of these juniors who seem to be infesting every corner of the campus right now! :P

The Favourite One:  The one junior who you are really really fond of. This one takes the advice, is USUALLY not cocky, asks you politely if the projects are done (and offers to help out even), is ever ready to entertain you when you’re bored  and well generally does all the things that makes him a favourite!

The One You Meet at Chetta Everyday: This one’s the one you CANNOT miss at Chetta everyday between 8.30 and 9. Be it rain, sun or snow he’s definitely there, surrounded by a group of seniors or batchmates which might or might not change on a daily basis.

The Cocky one: This one’s the one everyone dislikes. S/he’s rude, thinks s/he owns the world, has a tendency to show off and answer back with replies that obviously doesn’t please you!
The Enthu one:  This one’s forever enthusiastic about everything. He/She’s putting up the posters, timing the rounds for every Univ Selection, socializing with the seniors and is high on everyone’s list of “The Juniors I like”. J

The Hottie:  This one’s the one every batchmate is scoping for!

The Face Doubles:  They are the one’s who are unlucky to get tagged as “Baby someone” or “Someone junior” because he/she resembles a senior.

The One Who has Already been Pronounced the batch Slut: This one gets all the slime, deserved or undeserved!

The Girl/Boy-Next-door Junior: The one who flashes you a smile every morning when she’s locking the door to her room before class, asks you for advice on Law school matters, is sweet and polite, drops in to ask if you’re alright if you even have a cold and makes you feel important! This one’s pleasant and easy to like.

The Slimy Junior:  This one doesn’t have many good things to say about most people. He/she will have all the gossip of the batch and make sure everyone knows them too! She’ll do whatever it takes to get what/whom she wants!

The Genius: This one’s the surprise package! He/she juggles everything in law school perfectly and has no time management issues. He/she sleeps in class yet wakes up knowing more than the one’s awake!

The Playboy: This one’s the one always surrounded by girls and man can he charm them all! But he should come with a warning tag for all the girls!

The Nerd: This one’s to be found in the library. Most of the time. He/she complains about wasting time having three meals a day and giving roomcheck. Thinks starting projects 5 days before submission is the biggest sin EVER and any time except ‘library time’ as a waste!

The “In-Love” one: This one’s hit the romance jackpot pretty fast and is enjoying every bit of it!
he Awestruck One: Everything about law school amazes her/him. He/she genuinely believe they are living their dreams and never complain about anything in the place!

The Shy One: This one remains in the background. Is usually sweet and polite and gets a little intimidated by the seniors sometimes.

The Lost one: This one doesn’t know what he/she’s doing here. He/She’s the one still trying to settle down to Law School life and trying to get used to the system here.

The Blonde one: She’s pretty AND she’s pretty dumb. But she gives everyone a run for their money when it comes to having all the attention and fun

The Vain one: He/She consider themselves to be the smartest people around. Like showing off their knowledge about anything and everything and generally consider themselves to be a notch above everyone else.

The Sports Freak:  This one loves his/her basketball/tennis/football/throwball etc. and makes sure it’s a part of his/her “Claim to Fame”.

The Focussed One: This one knows what he/she wants from law school and will work to make sure they get it.

The One Who is trying too hard: He/She is trying hard to fit into the place and the groups. She’s the one who wants the attention but isn’t getting much of it!

The One Who got The Culture Shock: This one is scandalized just at the look of a Quad party!

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Its ALL to get to the Bar!

So whats driving us to finish our projects?
The ladies night on Thursday at Vaayu- The Sky Bar!
Its time to drown all the project sorrows in a glass of Cosmo :)

Welcoming back

So, there was this time when I was a regular blogger and then Law School happened.

So what makes me return u ask?
Well, it’s one of those phases that my roommate likes to call " projects-makes-life-seem-horrible". Only this time I realized, after an intense conversation with the said roommate, that i need to start doing those things again that used to  make me happy when my life was a little less abnormal.
That explains my return to blogosphere.

The rest- let it be Res Ipsa Loquitur!

P.S. The Law Schoolite in me refuses to let me be in peace till I acknowledge the copyright that Megha Mathur has over the name of this blog. :)