Sunday, September 26, 2010

At the end of a trimester that had it ALL- Love, Life and Law School

So, my friend sent me a message that said- “Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of a misfortune.”

Given that we both have been grappling with the same kind of 'misfortunes' and problems and the solution to which seems to be elusive at this point of time, it’s one of our efforts to bring our lives back on track by trying to infuse the “ultimate philosophy of perfect living” in our horribly messed up lives.

It’s not like we both already don’t realize the importance of acceptance, but it’s the process that’s problematic! Too many externalities and complications! The biggest externality being 'law school'! It manages to magnify and moralize just about ANYTHING! And also coming with it is the pleasure one finds in pain.

Yes, a little masochistic, but sometimes wallowing in self-pity gives you a lot of satisfaction! Not that I’m a big propronent of it, but it has it’s pros and cons and it’s possibly a way of holding on to the past. And if I already haven’t mentioned, I’m a big FAILURE at the art of letting go (so much so that my friends gift me “Simple Truths of Life: Learning to Let Go” cards on my farewell!)

So, here’s the flowchart to acceptance 
“Denial--->Anger--->Acceptance”. I’m not sure on which leg of the journey I stand. Partial denial? Partial anger? Partial acceptance? Its ALL of those three and a lot more. It’s confusing, frustrating, depressing and well, complicated. If only life were as easy as following a flowchart.

The only good coming out of this whole chaos? Friends. The ones who stood by and the ones who didn’t. The likely ones and the unlikeliest ones. The old ones and the new. At the end of it all there’s a warm feeling inside me, for all those who stood by. I don’t really care about the ones who didn’t, anymore.

Too many life lessons learnt in one trimester. And I’m glad it’s coming to an end. Like everytime, I’m gonna hope that the next one is better and this time I can actually believe it will be coz there HAS to be a high in my life after this all time low! So, the eternal optimist that I am, I’m gonna believe that the solution to my problems are not far and that things can only get better from here. 

To Want or Not to Want?

There are things you want. You know, big things and plans for your life. And then there are things that you just want .Like right now. Nothing to do with the 'long term perspective' but you do!
Like  a pack of Caribbean Hot and Sweet Lays.
An insightful conversation on the terrace.
A haircut.
A holiday.
Freedom from my mental blocks. Like my mental blocks against IITians and Jaipur (people from Jaipur rather)
A flat 50% sale at Mango.
A roasted chicken sub and iced-lemon tea.
A long drive.
SADLY, I’m not getting any of those. Which brings me to the point about how the human brain functions! I  mean I know I won’t get any of those right now but I still crave for them. It’s true for the long term goals also. Most of them are unattainable but we still want them and don’t give up on trying to get them. It’s the challenge I guess that keeps us going and the hope of something better (It’s also the concept behind “Why Taken Guys are Sexier”).
Such optimistic enthusiasts!
But well, we’d rather try than not try thinking its unattainable. So, like my friend said today, “Google up Obama’s campaign and then tell yourself “You Can Do It”!

P.S. And here's what the world would like me to believe! What a BIG, FAT LIE!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

There Ain't No Emerald City...

And you’re left behind...
Holding onto the remnants of all that could have been...
So much to be said and so little to be heard,
There’s little that went wrong,
There’s so much that could’ve gone right...
There’s so much to the story than what meets the eye,
And it takes a stolen glance,
An unspoken word,
An unshed tear,
A chance remark,
The flash of a memory,
And you’re left behind again...
Grappling with the weight of all that was good.
It’s the time to let go.
You know it better than anyone...
You know it too well you won’t,
The pain reminds you that there was a time,
When you were happier...
When didn’t cry yourself to sleep,
A little less disillusioned..
When you were still searching for the happy place...
And now the search comes to an end...
Coz here, it doesn’t exist.