At the end of a trimester that had it ALL- Love, Life and Law School

So, my friend sent me a message that said- “Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of a misfortune.”

Given that we both have been grappling with the same kind of 'misfortunes' and problems and the solution to which seems to be elusive at this point of time, it’s one of our efforts to bring our lives back on track by trying to infuse the “ultimate philosophy of perfect living” in our horribly messed up lives.

It’s not like we both already don’t realize the importance of acceptance, but it’s the process that’s problematic! Too many externalities and complications! The biggest externality being 'law school'! It manages to magnify and moralize just about ANYTHING! And also coming with it is the pleasure one finds in pain.

Yes, a little masochistic, but sometimes wallowing in self-pity gives you a lot of satisfaction! Not that I’m a big propronent of it, but it has it’s pros and cons and it’s possibly a way of holding on to the past. And if I already haven’t mentioned, I’m a big FAILURE at the art of letting go (so much so that my friends gift me “Simple Truths of Life: Learning to Let Go” cards on my farewell!)

So, here’s the flowchart to acceptance 

“Denial--->Anger--->Acceptance”. I’m not sure on which leg of the journey I stand. Partial denial? Partial anger? Partial acceptance? Its ALL of those three and a lot more. It’s confusing, frustrating, depressing and well, complicated. If only life were as easy as following a flowchart.

The only good coming out of this whole chaos? Friends. The ones who stood by and the ones who didn’t. The likely ones and the unlikeliest ones. The old ones and the new. At the end of it all there’s a warm feeling inside me, for all those who stood by. I don’t really care about the ones who didn’t, anymore.

Too many life lessons learnt in one trimester. And I’m glad it’s coming to an end. Like everytime, I’m gonna hope that the next one is better and this time I can actually believe it will be coz there HAS to be a high in my life after this all time low! So, the eternal optimist that I am, I’m gonna believe that the solution to my problems are not far and that things can only get better from here. 

To Want or Not to Want?

There are things you want. You know, big things and plans for your life. And then there are things that you just want .Like right now. Nothing to do with the 'long term perspective' but you do!

Like  a pack of Caribbean Hot and Sweet Lays.

An insightful conversation on the terrace.

A haircut.

A holiday.

Freedom from my mental blocks. Like my mental blocks against IITians and Jaipur (people from Jaipur rather)

A flat 50% sale at Mango.

A roasted chicken sub and iced-lemon tea.

A long drive.

*sigh*

SADLY, I’m not getting any of those. Which brings me to the point about how the human brain functions! I  mean I know I won’t get any of those right now but I still crave for them. It’s true for the long term goals also. Most of them are unattainable but we still want them and don’t give up on trying to get them. It’s the challenge I guess that keeps us going and the hope of something better (It’s also the concept behind “Why Taken Guys are Sexier”).

Such optimistic enthusiasts!

But well, we’d rather try than not try thinking its unattainable. So, like my friend said today, “Google up Obama’s campaign and then tell yourself “You Can Do It”!


P.S. And here's what the world would like me to believe! What a BIG, FAT LIE!

There Ain't No Emerald City...

And you’re left behind...

Holding onto the remnants of all that could have been...

So much to be said and so little to be heard,

There’s little that went wrong,

There’s so much that could’ve gone right...

There’s so much to the story than what meets the eye,

And it takes a stolen glance,

An unspoken word,

An unshed tear,

A chance remark,

The flash of a memory,

And you’re left behind again...

Grappling with the weight of all that was good.

It’s the time to let go.

You know it better than anyone...

You know it too well you won’t,

The pain reminds you that there was a time,

When you were happier...

When didn’t cry yourself to sleep,

A little less disillusioned..

When you were still searching for the happy place...

And now the search comes to an end...

Coz here, it doesn’t exist.

Trials and Triumphs

Choice.

That’s what our lives are about. Choices- the ones we make and the ones we don’t. The ones we don’t possibly, unknowingly affecting us more than the ones we do.  

So we choose to close our eyes to things we don’t want to believe. Choose to not believe something because we think it helps us face the next day much more easily. So today a friend asked “Is it wrong to make the easier choice?” and well I couldn’t really blame anyone for wanting to do so. Yes, it’s the more selfish choice to make because denials just make acceptance difficult for others, but well, who cares about the others? Life’s about US right? At the end of the day, we are answerable to ourselves and as long as u can look in the mirror and look into your own eyes and not feel guilty about things we do and decision we take, it’s ALL that matters.

So I tell myself –Stop trying to be the noble one and accepting things, ignore truths you don’t want to accept and move on. It’s the easiest thing to do. Cheat life, cheat others in the process but get your fucking conscience saved and ass covered.

Only, no matter how many times I say that to myself, I’m never ever to do it. And I’m never able to forgive the ones who take the easier path and leave the others to fight the battle alone.

Faith.

So there’s the right time and the right decision. How often do we take the right decision at the right time? And that’s where Faith comes in. Faith in oneself. You lose it once and it takes ages to build back again. And the world with its weird ideas of right and wrongs and moral lectures and social upbringing doesn’t help either. It makes you believe in all the things that the world accuses you of being. But faith in the one above? It’s a funny thing. Coz when YOU let yourself down, you can choose to believe that the one above will be fair. That’s faith for me.

And it’s the only choice where I take the easier way out.


P.S. And few will ever understand the reason behind why I named this post what it's named.

Here's how u do it! :D

Yes Yes.
All of us *secretly* want to be one of those! :P

Lights, Camera, *ACTION*

So EVERYBODY wants drama in their life!
AND there are different ways of getting it!

So my roommate thinks there'll be drama in her life if her other roommates get some action in theirs! And then she can sit back and see all the drama from a distance and give us constructive advice and consolation (whichever is needed).

And then there's my other roommate who just realized the futility of having action in a roommate's life. She realizes it rarely manages to bring action and drama in hers! So she waits and watches and contemplates taking THE STEP to getting action to her life!

AND then, there'e me. AND my half-fail, half-successful attempt at getting drama. Now my roommates push me to take take THE NEXT STEP to getting action to my life!

And in the midst of this is my roommate's friend Nero who also wants action and drama and she's found a way too.The hunt for the ultimate Tiffany/Cartier boi.

Yet, the drama we are all running after seems to be elusive.

So till we find that drama, lets keep planning for it! :)

Law School *sigh*

So I should ideally be finishing my Pol Sci readings... *sigh*
but like i said, ideally.

Exams always bring with it this unexplainable urge to blog. Actually its not THAT unexplainanble, its PROCRASTINATION.
But then, theres nothing much to write about!
There's every possibility that this post too will end up being a whiny  "Things I Hate in Law School" post.
So i can end up writing about how law school makes people insensitive, ungrateful and selfish .
And how its so difficult to walk the tightrope and be surrounded by uncertainties all the time.
How one does not deserve what one gets here and does not get what one deserves.

But then there's so much to like about this place.
Like theres MM and our Pizza dates and sleepovers. Yes, they sound stupid, but it matters when you know theres someone who will take time out for you every week and make you feel nice, happy and loved. Theres something that is just between us- like this small, little, personal space.

And then there are the terrace talks every night. Yes, its cold up there and the pretty trees have all been cut down. But then again, its one of those things that give you a break and let u know "There you go, Thats the time you steal from the hectic Law School routine, everyday, for yourself".

And then there are auto rides. You hate the fact that the college is in Nagarbhavi. But its still nice to feel the wind against your face on that 40 min auto ride to M.G.

Yes, festivals dont feel festive here. But the memories make for a pretty picture. Like the unforgettable Diwali night, our first away from home, when we sat next to the water tanks and cheered every firework that lit up the sky and sang songs loud enough to drown the sounds of the fireworks.

Yes, its a rat-race here. But there are those few people who still care. They can always make out you're upset and offer to lend you their shoulders to cry on or lend you their ears so u can bitch and then make suitable consolations and comments.

Yes, the food sucks. But there are always times when you learn to enjoy that midnight Maggi/Pasta.

Yes, everyone's very very different here, But you'll always find someone to agree with you when u need it.


Its not that easy, this place. But it isn't that bad either. :)
Its quite easy to start liking parts of it. But yes, very difficult to fall in love with.