My Happy Little Place

First week of trimester.
Lazy afternoons.
Little work pressure.
Jello Shots.
Quad Parties.
Super Pass weekends.
Awesome weather.
A ChickLit.
Old RomComs.
Skype FINALLY working on laptop.
Cheesiness.

Yes, life can be perfect sometimes =)
And it falls into place in the most unexpected of ways.
I’m so high with happiness it’s unimaginable.
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Yes, I’m rarely this happy, but that’s all the more reason to let you guys know.

<3

Bitter Pills

If there’s something that law school teaches you, that’s to deal with disappointments. A process of letting go and moving on.

You realize that people will walk in and out of your life but you need to walk away from that disappointment.

You won’t get what you deserve, but you need to accept what you get and remember that a lot of time you manage to get things you don’t deserve.

A lot of your dreams may end up not getting fulfilled but you always have to start dreaming the next one.

And tell you what? I just figured an easy process to get over your disappointments!

a)    

 Give your hand at being a nerd. Trust me it does wonders! It makes you feel like a stud to finally submit all your projects on time, does wonders for your self-confidence and keeps you busy and away from thinking too much about whatever that’s driving you nuts.

b)     

Food. It’s the instant relief for every cause of worry. Theres NO denying that a lamb risotto or a cheese margherita is the biggest comfort food man ever made!

c)       

SHUT the fuck up! Talking doesn’t help. People who should know will know by themselves, without you having to go over things again.

d)     

Humour. Ridicule your way through your failures. It’s always good to laugh it off.

e)      

Make a list of things you want to do by the end of the year. Trust me it makes you feel better J

f)       

Television/TV series. Make sure you catch the latest episodes of Gossip Girl or Glee or How I Met Your Mother  or Chuck or Roadies whatever it  is that you watch. It’s AWESOME. Period.

g)     

Reconnect with old friends. Sometimes you need to get away from the people and the place. And most of the times we are too busy being busybee to remember those old faces and places. But trust me there’s nothing like reconnecting with a friend you left behind and laugh over the times when you were stupid and silly.

h)     

HOME. There’s no place like home. There’s no one you’d rather talk to than your Mom.

And well there’s nothing in life that’s more important than YOU, so I’m sure it isn’t too difficult to get your act together-for your own sake. Someone once told me that there’s no one or nothing that is irreplaceable in one’s life. I’d disagreed then. I stand corrected.

P.S.- I know I haven’t written for 2.5 months but that’s coz I was putting most of the above things into action and ALSO because there was Univ Week! Wheee! :D

Judgment Day

Its never over till it's over.

One day and many meanings to these few words.

The end often comes out of the blue, when you least expect it. Or maybe when you'd like to least expect it.

And sometimes its not the end, but the end of the beginning, as you wait for the bigger better things to come along;just a wait for the next stage.*

And sometimes you have to end it yourself, coz it's never over till you bring it to an end.

There's a beauty in some endings. A part of you, finding a strange contentment in the heartache. A little hope. A little disillusionment. A little part of you that's been set free. The world might have come crumbling down but that just means a clean slate right? A chance to build it again, a little differently from the last time. Dream a new dream.

And the end doesn't come with a big bang. It comes quietly and leaves little behind. Perhaps that's the most difficult part, the emptiness that it leaves behind.

What it does leave behind is a lot of regret. Reflections. Images. Quiet nights. A strange vacuum when  you have nothing to do or say. Lapses of judgment. Dreamless sleep. Questions. No answers. Unsaid, bitter words. Distrust. And a shattered self esteem.

And sometimes a longing for one last chance to say I Miss You.

*Thank You Viki for not making my belief in this one falter. :)

These streets will make you feel brand new

These vagabond shoes, are longing to stray,Right through the very heart of it - New York, New York-Frank Sinatra

The snow covered cars parked outside that I watched from the warm, heated hostel room.

The street musicians at the subway station.

The red steps at Times Square.

The smell of freshly made hot dogs at every corner.

The frozen Central Park and the Manhattan skyline beyond the park.

The city at dusk, from the 62^nd floor of Rockefeller.

The Metropolitan Museum where one can easily spend a few days and yet not finish everything that there is to see.

Posing with the stars at Tussauds like every tourist would.

The newly wed couple taking pictures at Times Square.

Watching the city, lit up, as far as your eyes can see from the observatory at Empire State building.

Not knowing whether it was day or night on a walk down Times Square.

Navigating through the subway system that never fails to confuse.

Running through the streets to catch the late night show at Regal.

Shopping myself crazy at HnM, Forever 21, Victoria's Secret and haggling at the street corners for the cheapest deals on the “I <3 NY”.t-shirts.

Top it off with the Museum of Sex.

Hamburgers and fries with a friend at two in the night.

The noise.

The lights.

The chaos.

The city that never sleeps.

And a few wonderful friends to discover the city with.

No place ever got so perfect.

And if you ask me what was the best part about it, well it was the anonymity.

The city of 8 million and yet some of my best memories are from my solitary wanderings from around the city, on the days I did not carry my camera with me and all I have are the everlasting imprints on my mind.

The quaint seaport area near Fulton Street with the adorable open-air cafes where you strike up a conversation with a complete stranger.

The Trinity Church and the small, snow covered cemetery, where the father saw me fill up the prayer form and let me light a candle at the altar.

Looking up at the buildings in and around Wall Street, open mouthed and in awe.

The walk down Columbus Avenue and past Lincoln Centre.

Walking the Brooklyn Bridge promenade, stopping to see the Statue of Liberty in the distance and the Manhattan skyline.

The old man on the bus who told me how to get the tickets and told me exactly where to get down.

The salesgirl at Guess who got me a coffee and exchanged student life experiences with me.

The girl at Body Shop who failed to understand how I wasn't feeling cold.

The woman on the tube who struck up a conversation about the numerous shopping bags we were carrying and the guy who discussed Indian music with me.

It's so easy to lose oneself in the city. And find yourself in the process.

It's so easy to be anonymous but not a stranger.

Walk alone but not feel lonely.

The anonymity is a blessing.

Yes New York, I love you.

For the heady sights and sounds and the busy roads.

The big lights and the bigger dreams.

For the new ways in which I discovered you everyday.

For how everyone finds their favourite place in the city.

For how one feels at home.

For how it feels like I've known you forever.

For the feeling of familiarity in anonymity.

And for the 5 most brilliant days of my life.

I'm coming back, and that's a promise. :)

A visitor from the past

The past always follows you around.

So many times in my life I've looked at someone, and said, “Well, thats the last I'm gonna see of that person”.

Never worked. They keep coming back to my life. Sometimes in the form of a pleasant evening spent remembering our stupid, old selves and mistakes and sometimes like a blast from the past, in a way most unexpected and most unpleasant. But the truth remains- The past always follows you round.

So you take all the pain and pack those memories up in small boxes and keep them high on the dusty shelves, to be forgotten.

And you spend nights trying to figure out what went wrong.

And you sit up on the terrace on a cold night and tell yourself your eyes are stinging from the cold, not tears.

And you remember again, the tunes of your favourite song when you were 12 years old.

And you tell yourself to move on and find new things to make you happy.

And you learn to tell yourself that things have changed and you say it till you start believing it.

And then the visitor from the past. And it all comes crashing back.

Sometimes, a most amusing story to hold on to.

And sometimes you realize the pain was never gone.

It's all a ploy. It's life's way of reminding you of the lessons you've learnt.

Or maybe not.

Maybe its one more of those things that I keep telling myself so I start believing it.

Whichever way, there's no running away. 

"Chai mein dooba biscuit ho gaya :D "

This post is inspired by a lot of things.

Most importantly by the recently telecast Filmfare Awards, more specifically by Shahrukh Khan and Madhuri Dixit.

I mean have you seen the crackling chemistry?! And she's GORGEOUS, so gorgeous! Sigh.

Move over the Munni's and Sheila's, the original Dhak Dhak girl is the ultimate 'maal'.

Who can forget Rahul's Maya and Devdas' Chandramukhi?

And Shahrukh Khan? The lesser said, the better. Sigh.

And well. Its difficult to forget Shanker and Gauri as they try to free themselves from the clutches of the despicable bad-guy you love to hate, Rajasaheb (Amrish Puri). My heart went out to Shahrukh as he transforms from the subservient, mute slave to the vengeful, 'angry young man' and the plight of poor Madhuri duped into marriage with the bad guy!

And well Dil Toh Pagal Hai will remain my most favourite movie EVER after DDLJ. 3 hours of absolute awesomeness! Who can forget them dancing in the rain in Chak dhoom dhoom, or Dholna or that scene when Rahul first sees Pooja dancing to his drumbeats or the very last scene as Pooja faces the audience and her recording plays in the background?..

“jab woh mujhe dekhta hai, toh mujhe lagta hai ki main khubsurat hun.

jab woh hasta hai, toh jee chahta hai naach uthhun.

jab woh ruuth jata hai, toh jee chahta hai ki usse baahon me le lun.

jab pyar karta hai to ankh bhar aati hai.

woh mujhe ehsas dilata hai, ki main uske liye bani hun aur woh mere liye.

main usse bahut pyar karti hun.

ek din ke liye nahi, ek pal ke liye nahi. zindagi bhar k liye...”

SHIT! Can't get better can it?

It's the reason I believe that 'someone somewhere is made for you'. Sigh.

Second is the movie Band Baaja Baraat. My current favourite. SO Yash Raj! SO feel good. So, reminiscent of the days of the good old DDLJ, DTPH, KKHH …

Glitzy, colorful Indian weddings and some good old romance. PERFECT.

Add to it a brilliant soundtrack. This movie stays with you long after you've watched it.

Yes, its predictable. Yes, the climax is as cliched as it can get. But it's exactly why I loved it so much! So predictable, yet so fresh, so uninhibited, so earnest and so BOLLYWOOD.

Plus Anushka Sharma, sooo pretty. :)

L.O.V.E.

The movie made me want to attend a wedding BADLY. Maybe my sister will oblige. (I know that's an impossibility right now, but what's the harm in hoping? :P)

Also, I must mention this is why I LOVE home. The T.V.. I'm amazed everytime by how I could have survived three months without it!

Sigh.

I LOVE long holidays. :D

Till the next post, I'm going to go down the memory lane and take out my old collection of music. Have you felt the joy in fishing out old, dusty cassettes, yes AUDIO CASSETTES. The ones you cajoled your parents into buying because you couldn't get “Arre re Arre yeh kya hua” out of your head? Try it.

And don't be surprised when a smile lights up your face everytime you pick out your old, dusty, childhood favourites.

P.S. You MUST listen to aivayin aivayin from Band Baaja Baraat. It's addictive, I TELL you. Chai mein dooba biscuit ho gaya? Haha. <3 Bollywood <3

Sunny side up. NOT.

Anger. Its not as simple as this one word. It always includes sorrow, pride, frustration, jealousy and deceit. 

In short, its complicated.

I'm afraid I'm not too good at expressing it. Or rather I usually don't have any clue what to do with anger and all of that.

Take for instance the verbal expression of it all. So we do we talk or do we not? Shut up and simmer or shout and let it out? Stop talking to the person who angered us or go on with life like nothing happened, letting the person be humiliated by our forgiveness. Then of course there are cases when 'humiliation by forgiveness' doesn't really work because the person in question doesn't even know I'm angry! But then of course how exactly is it forgiveness if we intend to humiliate?! And then again coming back to the question of dealing with anger, do we forget and forgive or plan a retaliation? The former seems like the more intelligent thing to do but then who denies the high from revenge?

Fail or FAIL?

I never know what to do. I'd like to think of myself as a vengeful person because vengeance, in some twisted way, rhymes with power. But well I get muddled mid-way! I can, if I try, plan a long drawn-out revenge, but I'll probably forget about it midway. Or get tired of it. I need a new toy. I need a new thought.

So the last time I tried the 'stop talking to the person' route, I was the first one to break that rule. It's too tiring, I'm telling you. How do you stay angry with anyone for long anyway?! And it's too much of a bother. And it makes you feel depressed all day. Plus I can't NOT talk. If you know me you know that. FAIL.

And the 'humiliation through forgiveness'; EXTREMELY overrated I must say. Half the times they won't even know I'm angry with THEM, forget knowing WHY I'm angry. Plus it's such a mean thing to do. Double standards. I hate it. I don't use it till I MUST; double standards I mean.

Well, so whattodo?

Oh and did I mention half the times I, myself don't know I should be angry with someone?

In that case, just stay away from my illusion please?

It's all too complicated. Why don't I have answers to things like these? It'd make life a lot easier if I did.

Sigh.

Did I tell you I've been praying for a boring life, for the next 3 years at least?